Thursday, July 21, 2005

threads

There is, sometimes, a dizzying feeling that I get. It comes when I begin to feel layers of past conventions being stripped away from me.

I'm beginning to recognise the thing that comes to do it: it is floating and insistent, like an ocean tide at midnight.

It comes.

I am surrounded by a sudden surge that seems ... ancient. It knows more than I do, and I am lifted by it until my feet can’t touch the floor.

And then the tugging starts.

It pulls on a thread that I’ve woven all through the thoughts and beliefs that hold me all together. It pulls on a thread that I thought held all the meaning in the world together.

You don’t need this, it whispers, with lips that brush the lobe of my ear. This pulls the world into patterns that distort what’s really there.

‘But I will fall apart,’ I say. ‘I can’t let it go.’

What do you want more? It asks. To be held by a net of meaning or to be let loose and, perhaps, understand?

I feel that I am being looked upon by eyes that ask me if I am sure.

And I concede with my breath held and with eyes that beg for it to be trustworthy.

And then what I once took for truth is cast upon the wind.

And I fall.

And remember, all over again, how close fear is to freedom.

The art of flying

Originally uploaded by eyecatcher.


5 Comments:

Blogger illimitable voices said...

I just stumbled across your blog, nice. The pictures and the words are interesting, especially the barbed wire on the top.

4:05 pm  
Anonymous mark trenwith said...

interesting. that's something that i've been thinking a lot about lately. i think i've come to conclusion that reinvention is one of the most truthful things we can do. each time we are at a clear slate and in a space that is completely free of habit,past-relationships, routinee or regular ways of being then we get to be exactly who we are at the present. the more i can do this the more i feel i am living in truth, because realistically, every single moment changes us in some way or another. so i guess its more authentic to embrace the changes than resist them

10:58 pm  
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